Kamalamma
Today, I warned my maid of a year, that I wasn’t happy with her work. She was quite surprised; Kamalamma said she had NEVER taken a day off, that everyday, she visits other apartments, praising our home to them.
I reminded her that while improving our social life was all well and good, visiting neighbours was NOT the job I had hired her to do.
“You’ve been listening to that gossip: Mrs. Desai. She clearly has it against me. You’ve been brainwashed!” she said.
“No. I have NOT been brainwashed. It’s been a year. I’ve seen your work and can see for myself.”
“Well, I have plans! I’ve ordered a garden ornament on Alibaba. 10 feet tall. Yes, its China-made but no one will know. Just think! It’ll be the tallest in the neighborhood. It’ll really help your self-esteem.”
“We don’t NEED a garden ornament! Much less one that is 10 feet tall. People will think I have small….fingers. And I was perfectly happy with my home as it was. We gave you that money to buy groceries.” I reminded her. “And speaking of the garden, why is your friend setting up shop in our garden and selling our vegetables?”
“You’re welcome! Now you can experience the satisfaction of helping another. And get to buy all the veggies you want from your doorstep! You should eat more vegetables. They’re good for your health. In fact, here’s a new rule: no more meat”.
“Wait! You don’t get to tell me what to eat!”
“Look at yourself. Your ancestors would be ashamed of you. Do you think they ate meat? Do you?”
“Well..actually….”.
“And I resent the implications you are making. He is not my quote-unquote “friend”. Our relationship is strictly platonic. The auction was completely transparent. He won the garden and the playground fairly”.
“You AUCTIONED our playground? It wasn’t yours to sell! Where will our children play? Didn’t anyone stop you?”
“They tried.” she said with a disdainful flick of her hair. “They hate progress. You don’t want to know what I did to them. You know, you should thank me. Just the other day, I was telling the folks over at 404 (they used to live here), how beautiful your apartment is and how I’m going to make it even more beautiful. They cheered so loudly!”
“Well, they can do what they like. They don’t live here anymore. And it looks like they may want to move back here soon. The maid, they’re hiring is even worse I hear. We were talking about the work you are not doing, the food you aren’t buying and the garden and playground, you don’t own, which you’ve sold to…a friend”.
“What do you have against me? What about your previous maid?” she asked, “Why didn’t you ever say anything about her all these years?”
“Wait! What! Kangavva was just as bad. You said you’d be better. And I have nothing ‘against’ you. I employed you and am just telling you what you are doing wrong.”
“Well. There’s your problem. You are a complainer. Rather than complain, you should come up with suggestions. Here is a website I created: send me your suggestions. I have to go now. Have a flight to catch.” she said and walked away.